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Seriously ....I not hate my family..but just not enough like it.

When my dad ask me some question,either i silent or dun give a damn, because i dun feel to help him either for something i feel not to answer. something he ask was not what i like to do or willing to do.If i say 'No',there will be lot of coming question to me,that why i prefer dun talk a word and get scold by other family member. Whatever,who care,i not give a damn,i don't want find any problem,but mostly my family give me problem which they think not a problem or maybe for other too but for me...family was my problem.

Don't they understand what mean by "No" or "Don't want"....when i mention my word,they will start getting some piss off and ask why why why...OMG...i don't think that i will gonna tell everything a reason before i say a simply statement.

If i had say 'No',then stop for any question,because u making yourself piss off and me either.It was not good feeling,ok!!!!~ I JUST NOT LIKE , I JUST NOT WANT TO DO IT!!~I SAY I DUN WANT!!!I DUN WANT!!!!~UNDERSTAND!!!!~

Inside myself,i had seal my soul in the deep of my heart.No one can even break through it, all my feel,i seal it,i don't want express it out,i don't want give other see my weakness.The best is to hurt other before other hurt me.That how i survivor,that how i not getting hurt by other.

Being strong is not easy,but i still do it even i may look not strong even =).I just hate to show other that i was terrible weak and useless. I was lack of secure,i was too afraid till i cant express it out.

My sister say u so free and no stress,help your dad!~ Halo~~,did i need to show that i so stress or not free,what a funny word from her.i not even want to give her any response. On my point,if u want something,u get yourself,do thing yourself to get what u want.i do apply this to my family member,that why i reject to help them.
i may be so good and so kind to all my friend but my family??? no way~~~i just not understand~~~maybe...maybe i just not satisfied with my family.

I can had lot problem or no problem.because i not really know my problem but the problem was there and i alway feel unsecured all the time.alway....never stop to worry or scare...


I going crazy soon.